Treatments Ricky, Treatments
Topic: July 2005
Ok, now for the scoop on my doc appt yesterday.
First off, the doc is very nice; I am very happy with the facility and doc. He talks to me and listens.

All my tests came back "normal". So, as the doc says, no more surprises. My heart is good, bones, blood, etc., is all good. phew.... so I guess that means I get the full-on cancer attack medications?

The doc's big question was, the MICROmetatisis. Does that mean lymph node positive or negative? And after discussing with his collegues, there is no answer. A few years ago, the nodes would have came back "negative", but the tests are more advanced now and can see the "micros". So, we decided (and yes, that is a "we") that if I'm gonna go through this may as well do it right and do the treatment as if it were lymphnode positive. Which means, an additional medication and an additional 4 treatments.

So, my first chemo is Monday @ 2:30PM (that way I can go to work in the morning - I know, I'm way too responsible). I will not need a "port" since I have good veins.
port info
I go back the following Monday for a blood draw and so the doc can check me. This will go on for 8 treatments. So, 24 weeks of chemo; then 6 weeks of radiation. I'm already planning my vacation for week 31!

He will give me meds for nausea and said that if I do not feel nauseated during the first few days, I won't. He didn't give me any indication of how I'd feel, but I think that is because everyone is different, and he doesn't want to fill my head with ideas.

So, the "day" is getting closer, not sure how I'll feel, I'm hoping for the best and plan on working and living a regular life during that time. I've calculated that by next summer, my hair should be about 2" long Woo-hoo!

Oh, and in case you haven't noticed, I added a "topics" list to the left of this page, where I sorted out the entries by month and will add a few more - like the new one 100 things about me. So, if you just click on the topic, you can go back to previous months, or learn more about me.

Wigs ....
Topic: July 2005
Well, had my doc appt and wig appt today. Those wigs are friggen ugly. It is like Barbie doll hair; all fluffy and the colors are so unnatural. I ordered the "Betsy" in some sort of blonde, golden, red thing - it was either that or some ashy thing. It is about shoulder length with a flippy-up-do. They will style it and cut it to my "taste". I kinda liked the "Amanda", but it was a lot longer and I thought that length may be too hot for summer. It would look terrible in a pony tail, so wearing it down all day was my only option. But the colors on those things are terrible! I was having flash backs to my Barbie days when I used to cut and style their hair and put pins in their ears for earrings. Augh! I think a bald head with a hat or even w/o hat may even look better than those cranial prostesis. I ordered a wig contingent on the fact that it comes in the color I liked, or at least could tolerate. What's the point of getting a good "cut", if the color is off. Well, all the colors are "off", but I was trying to get something that may look natural at least after a few drinks!

I saw this attached Barbie fridge magnet at my sister's and thought it was very similar to today's experience.





Oh and here's Barbie and her "permanent" wig Now, if I had that figure, a wig wouldn't even be noticed, much less a bald head! But since I have never had those measurements, I need to think about my hair.

So, the remainder of the afternoon, while waiting for my doc appt., I looked around at the other chemo/cancer patients and tried to see who was wearing a wig. And, well.. it was pretty obvious. As my niece said, wigs don't have the "swing" and the move of real hair. It just sits on your head. Oh, the "wig" lady brought out a few of those short "mom" look wigs, and I was like, ah, no. Next! My sister went with me and she ended up buying a hat. Maybe she'll let me borrow it! She also reminded me to keep the wig away from my cats, boy wouldn't they have fun tearing those up.. they already think my bras are a treat!


I found "Bailey" and "Amanda"

Way to Go Lance!
Topic: July 2005
That face or determination - sheer will, you know he's gonna win with everything he does! He pushes his body to the limits becuase he knows that its been pushed to its limits with cancer and its treatments - way more then most people could ever imagine. If I just think about his face of determination, it gives me the strength and determination to also face anything. And you know that's one of the reasons he rides and wins - to show us that he is a winner - a cancer survivor - something we all are. What did he say, something to the effect that he was born to ride uphill. Aren't we all... and it's how we ride that is important. I like to think that I live my life, my life doesn't live me!

Yea, maybe this is a corny entry, but I have to be my own cheerleader... and keep a positive outlook. I go see doc tomorrow and get "plan" which will include the chemo that will start this week. Time to put on my game face.

Topic: July 2005
As I was driving into work today I was pondering today's 'blog entry. I mean, I can't talk about cancer, and its affects everyday. So, does that mean I don't post an entry, or do I talk about something else. When my cancer story is done, do I end this 'blog. This 'blog thing has turned into a sort of on-line diary. You get a peak into my life/brain (such as it is). Um, that's kinda weird. So, do I go for it and just write about what's going on cancer related or not? I suppose I could. I enjoy reading other people's blogs.

I had a diary when I was in my 20's and most of the entries were "I hope he calls"' "I met a really cute guy", and crap like that. Oh brother. I recall most of my days being bored. Geeze, who has time to be bored now! I long for those boring, lazy days - I'll unplug the phone; grab the coupons and ads from the Sunday Times and sit in the yard and "shop"; then maybe go watch an old movie.

Yesterday, while I was getting my bone scan, they put on you one of those narrow tables, strap your arms in (so they don't flop around) and then raise you up to your nose almost touches the machine. I hate that! Although MRI's are the worst. I hate being closed in and confined. I won't even zip up a tent when camping. Bbut it's times like that where I just try to relax myself by saying a Rosary or two. I got that from my Grandma. She would come out and visit every year for a few months, she and I would share a room and each nite she'd fall asleep with her Rosary, missing her Joe (Grandpa) and family that had already passed. She believed they were all angels watching over her, and now I believe that she is an angle watching over me. I wear one of her garnet earrings every day as kinda my good luck token. It's a small earring, I think it is the the one she got when she was a baby and I only have the one. I imagine her up in heaven playing Bingo!

People Watchin'
Topic: July 2005
I went to my loooooooong appt today. Had a bone scan: which means an injection at 9:30 am (more radioactive something) and then a 2.5 hour wait while my bones absorb the stuff before the scan. I also had a chest xray and some blood drawn. I think I'm done with the initial tests.

I brought magazines for my wait but decided to people watch instead. I could have went shopping, there is a mall close by, but don't need to be tempted to spend money, plus I really don't need anything!

I noticed a lot of the patients at City of Hope come with family and friends. They all come in groups, supporting their loved ones or maybe just curious. Lots of older people and a few young children. It was interesting to watch. You can tell who the patient is by the ID bracelet they give you when you "check in". I was feeling important today because I had my ID bracelet and a bandage on each arm indicating I had blood drawn and/or shots in each arm.

I also wandered around a bit checking out the cafe, gift shop and wandered into the wig place. I made an appt for next Tuesday. My mom will be with me that day, so she can go with me and help decide what my interim hair-do will be.

It's been a long day, I have a headache, and it's very hot outside!