Topic: December 2005
There are at least 3 people that, probably unknown to them, inspired me to get through my chemo; and more importantly to try to get through as a fighter and inspiration myself. All three have dealth with cancer in their way. First is Denise's mom. She was diagnosed with cancer earlier this year and wasn't as lucky as I have been and lost her battle in September.
Whenever I would want to quit or give up, or just lay in bed and feel sorry for myself, I would think of her and how she would want me to fight; how she fought very hard.
She was a strong woman, raised her three kids on her own; did a great job and was a very giving person to everyone. Recently while unpacking my stuff, I found a card I received from her in June, offering her comfort and words of concern over my recent cancer diagnosis.
Who knew that only 3 short months later, her own fight would end. I know she certainly didn't. Wow, we really can't predict our futures.

My other inspiration has been Margaret. She is a cancer survivor - 2.5 years. She keeps in almost daily contact with me with words of support and wisdom. Always cheering me on. Although I did not know her during her treatments; she is a very strong woman, very caring, full of grace and dignity, something I aspire to. Because of her, I wanted to carry on, be an example that cancer is NOT something where we should curl up and give in, but live our lives. I live my life, the cancer does not live it for me! And to do it with care, compassion, and grace.

And finally, this is kinda weird one; but Lance Armstrong. Because now I get it... I get the focus and determination he has on his rides. I get it, you have that same focus and determination when going through chemo. He was young, full of cancer, and plowed through it, and he's still plowing through his goals and dreams. You gotta keep on going! Reach for the stars, never give in; set your sites ever higher.

DONE - DONE - DONE
Topic: December 2005
My chemo is done. Wow.... I can't even think about it without crying. Tears of happiness and also tears of ... OMG, what was that
I just went through????

I'm so glad it is over. Yesterday while sitting around waiting for my various appointments I chatted with a few of the ladies. One in particular, younger than me, just finished up her chemo a month ago and was waiting for her appointment to find out about taking Tamoxifen and set up her radiation. She was wearing a scarf, but I asked about her hair growth. She took off the scarf and she had this cute fuzz (no grey or "blonde" either). She said her eyebrows and lashes grew in quickly, but fell out and now are coming back in again.
She said when they fell out she was wondering what that was, but then they quickly came back in. I think when mine come back, I may go
get them professional waxed. Start over.
This lady was on the same chemo "plan" as me. We compared notes and commented how we can't wait for our hair to grow back in. She was very nice. she also had a lot of fear about Tamoxifan. since she was young and probably wnated to have children, I understand her fear. I asked my doc about it and he said it is a hormone blocker since my breast cancer is hormone positive, they need to block the hormones the cancer may feed on. So, I suppose there will be more side affects. {can the hotflashes get any worse??} I need to crank up my calcium and vitamin intake and after a few weeks I'm going to start my running/walking again. I'm feeling the need to get back to my healthier lifestyle.

I have a few weeks off before radiation. But doc said the next few years will consist of blood work; physical exams, Tamoxifen, and tests. But I believe the worst is over.

I wonder if now is the time where it will all hit me; that 2 mins after an accident, where you realize you were hit, but you're ok, and then you freak out for a minute.

I'll keep you posted.

Woo-hoo
Topic: December 2005
today's my last chemo. although I'm not sure what I'm fearing most, the chemo or getting on the scale. Augh. I ate so much: cookies, candy and WINE, hiccup! It was giving me bad heartburn, but it tasted so good. hiccup.

I had a nice Christmas with family and friends. Here's a photo of my sisters and I. I'm the bald one....





I thought about wearing my wig, but it is so uncomfortable, and this is what I look like. I'm predicting next year my hair will be the longest!

Merry Christmas
Topic: December 2005
Merry Christmas everyone. I'll be spending Christmas eve with DH's family and Christmas day with my family. I am looking forward to relaxing, eating too much and watching all the kids open their gifts.

Yesterday i went to see the new movie The Family Stone. It was a comedy, but the underlying story is that the mother is dying of breast cancer..... augh! Should have went to see Memoirs of a Geisha.