Topic: July 2005
As I was driving into work today I was pondering today's 'blog entry. I mean, I can't talk about cancer, and its affects everyday. So, does that mean I don't post an entry, or do I talk about something else. When my cancer story is done, do I end this 'blog. This 'blog thing has turned into a sort of on-line diary. You get a peak into my life/brain (such as it is). Um, that's kinda weird. So, do I go for it and just write about what's going on cancer related or not? I suppose I could. I enjoy reading other people's blogs.

I had a diary when I was in my 20's and most of the entries were "I hope he calls"' "I met a really cute guy", and crap like that. Oh brother. I recall most of my days being bored. Geeze, who has time to be bored now! I long for those boring, lazy days - I'll unplug the phone; grab the coupons and ads from the Sunday Times and sit in the yard and "shop"; then maybe go watch an old movie.

Yesterday, while I was getting my bone scan, they put on you one of those narrow tables, strap your arms in (so they don't flop around) and then raise you up to your nose almost touches the machine. I hate that! Although MRI's are the worst. I hate being closed in and confined. I won't even zip up a tent when camping. Bbut it's times like that where I just try to relax myself by saying a Rosary or two. I got that from my Grandma. She would come out and visit every year for a few months, she and I would share a room and each nite she'd fall asleep with her Rosary, missing her Joe (Grandpa) and family that had already passed. She believed they were all angels watching over her, and now I believe that she is an angle watching over me. I wear one of her garnet earrings every day as kinda my good luck token. It's a small earring, I think it is the the one she got when she was a baby and I only have the one. I imagine her up in heaven playing Bingo!

People Watchin'
Topic: July 2005
I went to my loooooooong appt today. Had a bone scan: which means an injection at 9:30 am (more radioactive something) and then a 2.5 hour wait while my bones absorb the stuff before the scan. I also had a chest xray and some blood drawn. I think I'm done with the initial tests.

I brought magazines for my wait but decided to people watch instead. I could have went shopping, there is a mall close by, but don't need to be tempted to spend money, plus I really don't need anything!

I noticed a lot of the patients at City of Hope come with family and friends. They all come in groups, supporting their loved ones or maybe just curious. Lots of older people and a few young children. It was interesting to watch. You can tell who the patient is by the ID bracelet they give you when you "check in". I was feeling important today because I had my ID bracelet and a bandage on each arm indicating I had blood drawn and/or shots in each arm.

I also wandered around a bit checking out the cafe, gift shop and wandered into the wig place. I made an appt for next Tuesday. My mom will be with me that day, so she can go with me and help decide what my interim hair-do will be.

It's been a long day, I have a headache, and it's very hot outside!

Topic: July 2005
Friday, I got a hair cut. Nothing too short, just about 6-7" off the bottom , and it's a little below my shoulders, just a blunt cut. Looks good. I like myself better with short hair, but get attached to my long hair. I suppose in about 2 weeks I'll get another cut, something a little shorter. I'm not going from long to bald without a little fun.

Tomorrow I go for more tests. Bone scan, blood work, chest xray, and I think that's it. It is a 4.5 hour appt. I think while I am there I will go over to the wig "shop" and see about getting an appt. for the following week, when I go see the doc. My mom will be with me for next week's appt and we can do the wig shopping together. Just no pixie cut or those super tight ponytails.

Do Something New
Mood:  chatty
Topic: July 2005
Well, today's entry isn't so much about cancer, treatments, blah, blah, but I suppose, it is sorta related.

Yesterday as I was sewing my first bathing suit, with excitement; I went downstairs to show DH (and for those of you that have been asking "DH" = "Darling Husband" although the "darling" can be interchanged with other words as my mood dictates); and he was, as usual, awed at my creation. He asked, "How do you go from shirts to bathing suits, to all the things you make; how do you know." And I told him, "one sentence at a time". I.e., I just read the instructions and do it one step at a time.

And that's how I try to live my life, accomplishing new things, one "sentence" at a time; going through cancer, one appointment at a time. And, if you approach most things like that, you'll be amazed at what you can do!

Don't read the entire instructions (I know,
that's what all the instructions say, "read complete instructions first"), well, I say don't - just take it one step at a time, if you get stuck, put it aside, think about something else, or ponder what your end result should be, make a few changes, and wa-la - your back tackeling it again and another step is completed.

So, here's my idea for you, learn something new this summer, challenge yourself.

And my bathing suit turned out nice, and fits! Yahoo, now to get back to the beach and wear it!

Chemo??
Mood:  happy
Topic: July 2005
Some of you out there think that chemo is bad and I should not have chemo. That the effects of chemo are worse then the cancer. All I can say is that I have to trust my doctors! I believe that most doctors want to cure and treat and make their patients better and they do this with the best information available at the time. Yes, maybe it will not be viewed the "best" 40+ years from now, but it is the best that is available now.

I can understand the concerns. Believe me, I have them too. Heck, I was recently reading some of the recent controversy surrounding the once much applauded lobotomy! That whole ice pick thing still has me squeemish!

I am not by any means an expert on chemotherapy or radiation; but I was told that my survival rate WITH chemo is 30% better. Well, that's a HUGE increase. And I think that if you were me: young (ok - per the docs); pre-menopausal (i.e., all those hormones cancer feeds on haven't erupted); previous history of cancer; and that 30%, you may reconsider.